::Serendipity::

Things That Make Me Go Hmm..... ________________________________________________________________

I LOVE my husband.

Let me just get that out of the way immediately!

He just got home from over a week in Las Vegas doing a hoity toity shotgun training course someone gave him.

I was surprised to find myself not that lonely.

I had a micro headache once for about 5 minutes the entire time he was gone.

I didn't stress eat, eat in my sleep, or over eat at all.

I didn't feel overwhelmed or need to take a nap before dinner.

I slept really well every night.

So, now that he's home, I've realized a few things....

My jaw is tight.

I'm really hungry.

I'm feeling anxious and I don't want to go to bed.

I'm getting a headache at the base of my skull.

AND HE'S BEEN HOME FOR TWO HOURS.

I was surprised that I didn't get a kiss or excited look or hug when I came to get him at the airport. I didn't initiate out of curiosity and I guess he remembered in the parking lot.

I was sad that he brought the kids home 3 bags of nuts from the airplane. Nothing else.

I was sad that he brought me home a travel lotion and soap from the hotel. Nothing else.

I was disappointed (probably a better word than 'sad') that we didn't Skype once while he was gone. He called once a day though.

So, what do these things tell me boys and girls?

As much as I love my husband, I think he's a major cause of my stress. I thought it was the kids, and I haven't wanted to admit that. Even worse, I think it's my husband, the man I'm committed to for the rest of my life. Crap. That's not what I wanted to learn at all!

And while I don't need gifts or stuff to make me happy, is it terrible to admit that I hoped for a little something? And the kids probably did too? He drove by the Luxor 3 or 4 times. Did he get a picture for Riley? Uh, no. But got some great shots from the airplane over Arizona. Uh, okay. So? He seemed happy enough to see Maggie (who begged to come with me to pick him up), Riley and gave Emily a hug when she came down to use the bathroom, but he didn't go up to see the boys.

Why am I focusing on the negatives? That's stupid. But I have a nagging feeling these little things are adding up to something very important.

Crappity Crap Crap.

posted by Terri at 10/21/2009 01:43:00 AM >7 comments

7 Comments:

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