Riley has a boy calling her. She hasn't talked much about it until the past couple of weeks. RED FLAG. When my chatterbox is oddly calm and quiet about things, something is not right! We've read the Madeline books. Where is Miss Clavell in her charming wimple to sort things out?
So here's the story.
Michael's sister, Bettina got married just over a year ago. Bettina new her husband for years and they all had the same friend for video game parties and D&D sessions. Yes, they are geeks, and that's okay. I could go down a whole other rant about the lack of ambition kids in their 20's have, but that's boring. We all live it every day. So Bettina has had this friend, Mitch for a long time. We've seen him around the in-laws at holidays and so on. He's always charming and funny. Like
Duckie in Pretty in Pink, only not as cool.
Now Bettina is inviting Riley over for all night sessions of D&D. Slowly I come to discover all the details. It's Mitch and Riley and Burt and Bettina. The other guy dropped out. Hmmm... Mitch is giving her rides home. Makes sense because he lives right up the road and yet, hmmm..... He asked her out to the movies with Burt and Bettina and when they couldn't go, he still wanted to come get Riley alone. I said, nooooo. Eventually, we had to have The Talk.
He's in his early 20's. He may look and act 16 but he is not. He calls her on the phone when he's "bored" and they talk for nearly 2 hours one day. I ask you. How many boys call a girl, even to pass the time and talk for 2 hours? The boy wants something. So Michael and I sat her down and asked her what is going on with this guy. She's not allowed to date. It sounds like these are date-like excursions. Does she want to date him. She said no. Groups are fine, but sound very much like a double date. Coming over here to hang out is fine. Riding alone in his car is not fine. Having him pick you up to go clothes shopping is not fine. He can find someone else to play Queer Guy for his Straight Guy. She agreed with us. I told her how when I was her age, I usually had a few guys like him who were friends. I thought. They thought something else or really hoped it would become something else. And then it was tense and uncomfortable, and not really what anyone wants to have happen. Most of my dating years are memories of how to turn down the guy who was your friend when he suddenly tries to get in your pants. If I had really thought about it, I would have realized what he had wanted all along. Instead I enjoyed the attention while I pined away for the guy I couldn't have. Ahhh... Teenage years are SO fun!! Barf.
So when Mitch calls the next day, she goes to the kitchen where we can all hear and basically sets down the law. I just want to be friends. Picking me up and taking me out feels like a date. Are we dating here? Because I'm not ready to be dating yet. I just don't want that kind of relationship with you. I can be friends sure, but that's all. So that's the timer and dinner is ready. I need to go. Bye.
Wow. I wish I had her balls when I was 16! She said he responded with a "oh, I am only looking for friendship too", and I rolled my eyes and said whatEVER. He thinks she's hot. She's every geek dude's dream. She loves playing World of Warcraft, she's well versed in all the comic book sci fi stuff, loves Doctor Who, looks cute in a pair of skinny jeans with her plaid Chucks. She can talk about Star Wars and vampires and zombies and what caliber you'd need to take them out. Come on now! I can see it through adult eyes and I know what's happening here. I was far to insecure at her age to do more than believe the guys line that "he's really not into you" when he so completely is but his ego won't let go.
Today she had testing and then she walked to the library with her friend. Who is there, but Mitch! No, I really do think it was a coincidence. He wasn't stalking her. But this is the last time I've giving him that benefit of the doubt. Hhe walked them to the radio station to be a gentleman. Which is nice. Michael saw them walking down the street and Mitch almost dropped dead. I'm sure Michael had a happy go lucky expression on his face causing it.
So, I don't know if Bettina set things up from the beginning. They were in her wedding and I did think they looked really cute walking down the aisle together as bridesmaid and groomsman, but come on now! I don't know if Mitch was always interested and suggested it. I don't know how it happened. But I'm not naive enough to think it has all been a couple months of just happenstances. I do know that Riley is strong enough to say "back off" if this is getting to be too much. I'm really glad she stayed within earshot during that phone conversation! It helped me to know that and that gives me more peace of mind.
I trust Riley. I even trust Mitch. But I was 16 once. And even if you didn't have something in mind, magical things called hormones can change minds, plans and all matter of decisions in the blink of an eye. Trust is lovely. But I don't think it needs to be tested.
I think it's been great for Riley to get a break from her siblings and spend time with older kids she has a lot in common with. And now that Riley has told him she's not interested that way (which I don't know for certain) you know how boys are. She just painted a bulls eye on her forehead.
So Michael is keeping his guns cleaned. And is hoping for a chance to show Mitch just how clean his guys are in the near future. Although Mitch is just self assured enough to ask Michael what kind of oil he uses to wipe them down with.
Lord. I'm not sure I'm ready for these complications. I knew they were coming. I'm actually thankful it was Mitch for Riley and not the little turd, Brian you sent me when I was her age (younger actually). Please, Lord, keep these kids smart and safe and if there is any way you could send him to another state, I would appreciate it. Amen. And pass the gun oil.
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