::Serendipity::

Getting Older is Heck ________________________________________________________________

Michael has some sort of upper GI swallow procedure this morning. He used to have killer heartburn, and then it stopped over the last couple of years, but now he has trouble swallowing. The doc said something about scar tissue and rings and blah blah doctor speak, go have a test. After he said Michael didn't have a hernia I was in a daze from good news and didn't totally grasp the rings in the esophagus stuff. But this morning he's swallowing a small tube and I'm thinking calming thoughts for him and sending up prayers that it will go easy.

I should probably have something like that done too... I suddenly get small bouts of heartburn, but it's usually after eating too much too fast, which is my own darn fault so it seems to me I could suffer the consequences. There are several occasions where my throat feels small if that makes any sense. I've attributed it to my allergies since I'm allergic to dust, molt, dog, cat, bird (seriously, feathers of all kinds), some trees and horses. I'm not a good enough housekeeper to live in a completely dust free environment, so I figure it is what it is. But I don't like it. Nightmares of not being able to breathe are more frequent then they used to be. Meh. Whatever. Getting old is hell, and I might as well get used to it.

I'm 39 tomorrow. How weird is that. Michael will be 40 in August. How can we be almost 40? What does 40 feel like? I don't look for feel like I thought I would at this age, which I suppose is a good thing. I've got a lot more junk in my trunk than I thought I would but I'm so far wrinkle free. I still feel pretty young. If not tired and somewhat lazy.

Oh, and I get to see my psycho-olgist-iastrist today. He just monitors my medication. He doesn't have a couch or anything where I lament on life's past woes. But I had a serious set back last week that came out of no where and I don't know what he'll want to do about it. Michael just "wants me fixed" which puts me under pressure to "be fixed" if that makes any sense. He's supportive in every way possible, but he may just need to realize I'm always going to have quirks. A migraine here or there. A period of feeling gloomy. It's part of who I am I guess.

posted by Terri at 5/13/2009 08:50:00 AM >5 comments

5 Comments:

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