::Serendipity::

Pity Party for Mom's B'day ________________________________________________________________

Life has been so "not the drama" that I've really had nothing of interest to write. Snippets on Facebook seem to suffice.

Was shocked and grateful that Michael agreed that I should get Xander his first little man bike yesterday.

It was 75 freakin' degrees in April. In Alaska. This is awesome! Yet there is still snow in my front yard. It keeps melting just enough to show a new pile of poo from the neighbors foo foo dogs. Our Jack leaves bigger piles. And Tim actually takes pretty good care of that. But he doesn't want to scoop other dog poo. I guess I can't really blame him, but it's so nasty! Spring brings all kinds of surprises!

In dramatic and exciting news, this time last week, my BFF was having a baby. We went to the doc. Then went for an ultra sound. The next day her water broke. A night and a day later, her labor was continuing with very little progress and it was time for surgery. I left her side once in two days to go home for a cat nap and a shower and she was asleep that time. It was an honor and a humbling thing to be with someone through all that. I held her hand through surgery and held baby right after she did. It was amazing! Beautiful! I cried for 45 minutes afterward, telling anyone who would listen that the brand new gorgeous baby in the nursery was my BFF's.

Ever since she had been worried about the baby's daddy. Who left her. Five months ago. She didn't want him to know she had given birth yet. Didn't want anyone to know. He figured it out (her car was parked at the hospital in a small town after all), and showed up, and was promptly shown the door by the nurses. She said she felt much safer afterward. Unfortunately, after that incident, my kids ran into someone from her work and, not knowing it was a secret, told them the news. And it made the go round. That day she was slightly chilly to me when we came to visit her and the baby. Riley was with me, so my BFF didn't say anything, but I could tell. Today she came home, and didn't call. Didn't return my calls. Or texts. I let it go. But I texted her tonight and told her I was thinking of her, and praying for her and am here. She said "ty" and that was it. She's never been mad at me before that I know of. I want to just cry and cry. I'm sure it will be fine soon. I understand it's an incredibly emotional time for her and she must get her bearings. I'm just used to be the one who helps with that. And the idea that I've done something to upset her, even if it's not my fault is... difficult. It's hard to explain when you're getting the silent treatment.

Michael has had a meeting every night this week, and we haven't been able to talk much. All I have is you guys to pour my heart out too. Aren't I fickle? Only write when I have troubles and issues.

I've been on Ambien for a month, and I cannot sleep without it. The doc says it's been found to be non habit forming by the FDC, so I'm not as apprehensive about taking it. But tonight, my heart is too heavy and I'm on the verge of lonely tears and sleep just won't come. Medication or no. When it's this late, I hate to take it and take the chance of sleeping late, but if I don't? I'll still be here at 7AM. As Mel Cooley would say to Buddy Sorrell, "Yuck". Hmm. Riley and I have been watching The Dick Van Dyke Show a lot lately...

And tomorrow (today) is Mom's birthday! I miss her so much. And she's missed so much. The kids aren't the same people they were when she last saw them, and it's horrible for us both. For us all! I hate missing her special days. Especially when I know she'll be lucky to get a "howdy hon" from my dad tomorrow, let alone a cake, or a gift.

Pity Party, table for one!

posted by Terri at 4/30/2009 01:58:00 AM >3 comments

3 Comments:

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