::Serendipity::

Back to the Real World? ________________________________________________________________

My Precious, AKA my Sony PR-505 book reader my fabulous hubby gave me for Christmas... is no longer. I bought a buttload of new books for it, transferred them, opened the cover, and half the screen was fuzzed out. I took a deep breath. I turned it off. Shook my head in disbelief. Turned it on. It was still fuzzed. Pushed the reset button. No dice. Michael looked at it and said, "it looks like it got stepped on, there's a tiny crack in the top corner of the screen". That's when I burst into tears. I know. It's just a THING. I have my family. My kids are healthy. We've got food in the fridge and oil for the furnace. It's no big deal in the scheme of things. BUT I LOVED IT! And now it's broken. *sob* *sob* I have no idea how it could have happened! I turned in a warranty ticket, and with any luck, they will send me a refurbished one, but I don't know if my luck is that good considering it was carelessly stepped on by some mysterious gremlin a mere two months after owning it. And while refurbished electronic items are usually okay, sometimes they aren't and in my experience, they don't last quite as long.

I know. I'm in the middle of a pity party. And now you've all been invited.

In baby news...Shawna has gestational diabetes. She went in for her 3 hour glucose test on Friday, and was jerked around every which way. After fasting for 14 hours, they took her blood. And made her wait. And wait. They didn't even give her the glucose drink. They just kept telling her to wait. And wait. After another hour and a half, she had enough. She was dizzy. She was sick. And she had to take time off from work. Welcome to socialized medicine. She goes to the free clinic available to Alaska Natives. There was one lab tech. She was the only patient.

She re-scheduled for tomorrow, and I'm going with her. I haven't been sleeping, so chances are, I'll be slightly cranky that time of the morning and I can't think of a better use for it.

In other baby news, my "friend", Mrs. G.Gnome is expecting at the same time, as you might recall. Shawna shared with her that she has gestational diabetes and she's concerned about it because she's never had to deal with it before. Mrs. G G had it with her last baby, but she just signs a waiver so she can keep going to the midwives. Her last baby weighed over 12 pounds and she was 4 weeks overdue. She wasn't treated for gestational diabetes. She did not track her blood sugar, or have any more tests to determine if she needed insulin. She has it this time as well, and has signed the waiver so she can have another wonderful water birth. Well, that's GREAT! And I'm thrilled that she is comfortable with the midwives and is studying to be one herself. And it's really none of my business, but I am so ANGRY about this! I've had it 3 out of my five pregnancies. One of the reasons I was diligent with tracking my blood sugar and following the diet was the possibility of still birth, birth defects, etc. etc. Sure, I could have a big baby. Ow. But what really mattered to me was the baby. She has gone weeks over her due date with all five of her babies. And she really is okay with cutting out coke from her diet and the occasional candybar? That's enough? Ooo, I'm heated. I'm also heated because the state is paying for her prenatal care. She was desperate to get pregnant. This is the lady that treated every two day late menstrual cycle as a miscarriage. After two years of projesterone creams and jellies and tests and ultrasounds trying to get pregnant, I just don't understand. I'm at a loss. All I can do is pray for their health. I've vented now. Sorry for that... But it was eating me up. I try so hard not to judge people for their choices and this is really and truly not my business, but I'm finding it really hard this time.

I saw her at church today for the first time in ages. I came out with her about my depression, and after a short note thanking me for sharing, that was it. I started a chat with the pastors wife, hoping to breach the subject of the cause for my absences when my friend plopped down next to me and started talking. "Oh, your hair has gotten so long!" I said thanks, and that I needed to get it cut. "Oh, we're just never happy are we?" It didn't dawn on me the causticity of that comment until later when I mentioned it to Michael, who said she can't be my friend because clearly if she thinks that, she doesn't know me well enough to be my friend. I shouldn't be conflicted over this quasi friendship, but I am.

Then her husband gave the sermon today. Oh. My. I tried to be a good girl. I started out listening with an open heart, and then he started spewing random political nonscense, and I just opened up my Bible and started reading until he was done. I know my friend noticed. And I know I probably didn't react the right way, but I believe I did the best thing I could at the time. I probably should have done as Michael did and sit through it and take away what positives there were and left the rest. I'm just not that good yet. I'm so glad Shawna didn't come to church with us because she would have gotten up and left. No one is more judgmental to her and about her situation than the man giving the message today.

In other baby news... Xander went to the big kids Bible class today! Amy, who was working in the nursery, noticed he was the only toddler in a room of babies, so she asked him if he'd like to go to class with the big kids. He got very excited! So up he went, and came down with a nice little project he made and he was SO proud of himself. My baby! With the big kids!

So as Amy was telling me this, she was holding her six month old baby. And he has the most gorgeous brown eyes and he was taking it all in. Every time I spoke, he'd look at me, so I asked him something and he lurched for me and grabbed my fingers, cooing. Oh, boy. That just about did me in. I love it when babies just trustingly lean out like that toward someone. He is so precious! If it weren't for my blood pressure, I don't know. I just might have one more baby in me...

My mother just had a heart palpatation. I could feel it from here!

posted by Terri at 2/08/2009 11:10:00 PM >5 comments

5 Comments:

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