::Serendipity::

Not Feeling It, Folks ________________________________________________________________

I'm not feeling Christmasy. This has happened before, but usually when we are busted broke and I'm freaking out about getting gifts and cards sent out and making sure all our traditions have been accomplished. Maybe it's because I've been home alot lately? The Christmas tree is six feet away from me twinkling it's little heart out. The kids are excited. What the heck is wrong with me?! I'm taking Emily shopping tomorrow, and I'm sure a store full of rushing shoppers will snap me into it!

Michael's been really down. He often gets that way this time of year. His goals have been met at work for months. There's no challenge. My man needs a challenge! And his chronic pain is really wearing on him. I think it's making him depressed. He's on so much medication for pain. Lyrica, Cellebrex, and a few others. It breaks my heart to see him this way, because there's nothing I can do to snap him out of it. I pour my whole Pollyanna-ness into reminding him how great things are, how blessed we are and he's grateful. He's just tired of hurting. Tired of not being able to do what he wants to do because he hurts. If he drops something on the floor, he actually has to think about how badly he needs it because it hurts so bad to pick it up. His joints are popping all the time. He was seeing a physical therapist for a while (he has arthritis spurs on his shoulders to boot) and it helps, but it's a weekly thing, and he doesn't want to have to do that for the rest of his life. He's been dreaming about dying, and that freaks him out because he doesn't have enough life insurance to take care of us as he would like. I asked him to make an appointment with his doctor after the first of the year, and I want to go with him. The physical therapist told him to get some supplements to help his joints, and he didn't. I need to do stuff like that for him, because he'll put it off and do something for me and the kids instead. I really want to address his bouts of depression due to his pain.

Tomorrow is Furnace Guy's birthday, so we're having him over for dinner and cake. He couldn't tell me what he wants for dinner. I need some ideas! I'm doing a ton of baking tomorrow (Lord and sinuses willing). Maybe we'll just have Maple Walnut Fudge and Gingerbread Men!

Which reminds me... I have a friend in New York who actually was good friends with my Grandma that sends us real maple syrup every year, bless her! A gallon! It usually lasts a year, but... Maggie made pancakes the other morning. With chocolate chips. LOTS of chocolate chips. And the syrup. I was in the shower, and I come out to a table full of pancakes with more chocolate than cake and Timmy was sipping the syrup off his plate. Oh. My. Word. Has anyone seen the movie Elf? When he put syrup on spaghetti and everything else? That's all I could think of when I saw him do that. And then I made him brush his teeth for five minutes!

posted by Terri at 12/15/2008 01:12:00 AM >3 comments

3 Comments:

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...: <$BlogCommentBody$>; <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$>