::Serendipity::

Now That's More Like It! ________________________________________________________________

Timmy's job was to clean the bathroom today. He moaned that he didn't know what to do once. Then he thought about it, got the broom and other supplies and got to work. I'd pop my head and and remind him to get the corners, and behind the toilet, and he got slightly annoyed with a, "Yes Mom, I know..." response. Not disrespectfully, just with an attitude of wanting a chance to do it on his own. So I left him to his own devices. And WOW! I did have to remind him to clean under the toilet seat, and then he could Wii. I believe I said, "You can Wii til your hearts content or until Daddy comes home". I told him that I'm letting him Wii because he did his job well, but more importantly he did it with a happy heart. He's almost as proud of himself as I am.

I hope Daddy will be proud of him! I'm glad he wasn't home while Timmy did his chores. Michael rides him awfully hard, and it worries me all the time. He doesn't want to "ride him like a bicycle", but Timmy gets distracted and loses focus. Like a little boy. Little boys have that tendency, right? I don't know. He's my first little boy! Help me out here, folks!

I know a lot of it is because they have similar personalities and Michael sees himself in his son. I also know that Michael's Dad (the rare times he was home) expected him to act like an adult and didn't leave room for him to be a little boy. I see that sometimes in Michael's relationship with Timmy. He'll get upset with him if he lost a Lego piece, or if he forgot to bring in his cereal bowl, or left his coat and snow pants in the middle of the floor. These are little boy things that I think require reminders, not punishments. To be fair, Michael doesn't generally punish him for those things unless it builds up, but he does lose patience with him and gets his grumpy pants on. And I see Timmy crumble under the scrutiny. So I worry about his little spirit.

On the other hand, he's such a good father! He loves his children so much. I am thankful for him because he helps me see things I miss. Like getting too busy to realize that the kids ignored me. That sure sets him off! He's not overly strict, but he's firm and I know the children benefit from his boundaries because I have a tendency to be more easy going. I think we're a really good team.

I know he's doing the right thing. I know he's a wonderful father. Still, I worry.

He wanted a son so much! But at times it seems like Timmy isn't good enough. Maybe because Michael's father made him feel that way? I don't know... His relationship with Xander is very different. Maybe because they are different boys and have different temperaments. Last weekend, Timmy and Michael put together his Lego's Skeleton Castle. Michael got frustrated a few times. Got cranky that parts were missing. Then he finagled something that worked and on they went. I was concerned, of course, because that's what I do. But Timmy said, "this has been one of the best day's ever!" after their day of Lego's. So there is hope for my men.

Maybe what I want for them isn't what they want. I have this picture in my head of them hunting and fishing together, fixing cars and chopping wood. Maybe that's not the picture they have in their heads. Maybe things are just fine the way they are, and I just have to have something to worry about!

posted by Terri at 1/27/2008 11:42:00 AM >6 comments

6 Comments:

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