::Serendipity::

Surreal/Reality ________________________________________________________________

Michael and I had a fantastic weekend away. The hotel was great. The bed was a dream! It was one of those temperpedic or wannabe's and I slept like a baby. Without meds, I might add... I never thought Michael and I needed to reconnect until we had this weekend away. So much time alone together was wonderful. It felt decadent and I'm horribly selfish because I want more of it. But it was time to come home and be mommy again. I missed the kids like crazy, but we brought the lap top with us, so we e-mailed and chatted online. I think that made it easier for the kids too. They didn't miss us quite as much after a chat or phone call.

We went to a movie, had dinner at Outback, visited with friends one night and just enjoyed one another. Crazy how a 7 hour drive to another city can be a vacation, but it really was. Okay, he had a few short business meetings, but I brought a book, so it was all good. No bills or laundry or cleaning or cooking or anything to worry about. What a treat. I can't tell you how fabulous it was! It's hard to put express. It's been two years since I spent a night away from home. It was hard being away from the kids, but I have to admit that it was lovely to relax.

Riley's 15th birthday was Monday. We spent the day shopping at Old Navy and
Barnes and Noble at her request! We could both spend all day at Barnes and Noble, and if her grandparents hadn't been stopping by later, we just might have. I think it's safe to say we had a groovy time, baby. I swear, she grew another inch overnight. And then my mother goes and buys her this wonderful leather coat and the moment she puts it on, she aged another ten years. What happened to that teeny tiny baby I just gave birth to? The past 15 years have been a total blur! It went by so darned fast. It's hard to take sometimes... I remember when I was her age and wanted a leather jacket. I was SO different at 15 and not in a good way. I'm so proud of my girl.

Michael went back to work today. He's started taking a long weekend off once a month and he wanted Riley's birthday off. We had too much fun away, and going back to work put him out of sorts. He came home to pick up the kids and he was just down. I got a little taste of what it must be like for him when I get in one of my funks. It's a helpless feeling. I just want to make everything better for him. Work wounds his spirit sometimes. It's not a positive environment and I think it all builds up more then he lets on.

I have to say, I hope Michael and I can get away like that more often. As much as I worried about my kids, I knew they were happy and safe too. I felt so loved and cherished this weekend. And it wasn't just all the wonderful no kids to hear/interrupt/have in the back of my mind sex we had either. Heh. It's an awesome feeling to know you're truly appreciated and loved so deeply. And then you leave the surreal behind and come home to the laundry and dishes and meals that need planning and cooking and the boss calling with problems and it can be hard to remember how loved and cherished you felt. I felt it slip a little already. So soon. Too soon. It's easy for me to let it go and wait for him to say something, or offer a snuggle on the couch or call with just a hello. It shouldn't be easy for me to let it go. I don't like having to take the initiative. Does anyone? I shouldn't worry about having my feelings hurt or being rejected. Yet I do. But I will strive to not let it hold me back and let things slip. It's not fair to him either. Life sometimes gets in the way of life, doesn't it?

posted by Terri at 11/07/2007 08:48:00 PM >5 comments

5 Comments:

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