::Serendipity::

Date Called On Account of Dopiness ________________________________________________________________

I took my sleep medication last night. It took a while to work. I was still awake at 1:30Am. Not too bad for me. But I could NOT wake up. I woke up with the kids in the morning and somehow ended up back in bed again. Where I stayed for most of the wasted darn day! Riley even brought me coffee. I feel asleep and let it go cold on my nightstand. I felt so bad! She even warmed it up for me when I did manage to get my sleepy butt out of the uncomfortable bed.

NOT sleeping all night is better then this. I wake up just as late only I'm not worthless for the whole day acting like Dopey in the seven dwarfs. Or is it dwarves? My apologies to any little people who might have stumbled upon my blog.

The best thing about being out of town was the not worrying. I didn't worry about school, which was a huge thing. Either I'm too tired from the drugs to do school with them, or I'm too tired from not sleeping. I'm very frustrated here. And whiny. Sorry 'bout that. But this is my place to vent. Deal with it. If you really want to I mean. Teehee.

Since I've been in bed most of the day, I haven't had time to shower. And I feel too guilty to leave the little darlings for Date Night when I've been out of it all day. There's no way I'm going out like this! People would point and stare. Possibly back away slowly so as as not to startle me.

Michael "just wants to be with me, whether it's at a restaurant or at home." Say it with me now. Awwwwww!

I don't know where the insomnia comes from exactly, but if I had to offer a pop psychology guess, I'd say I'm bringing it upon myself because of guilt I feel from being so tired. Hmm... which came first? The insomnia or the insomnia from the guilt of having insomnia? Ah who knows. I'm a flippin' mess. There's starving children in Botswana and I'm whining.

We do need a new bed. Especially for Michael and his back. He's been trying to get trade for a temperpedic-ish one like we slept on in Anchorage. I slept like a baby and he woke up in pain, so I don't know if it's a good idea or not. He thinks it was just because he didn't have his pillow wedged under his knees with the copious amount of extra pillows like we have at home. I think he's just trying to make me happy. I'd just be awake all night from the guilt if I got a good nights sleep and he didn't. And we're back and square one. Step one: learn to get over guilt. Hahahahaha! Yeah. Like that's gonna happen!

My favorite thing about Zoloft (other then the little thing of being my regular self and not a lump of depressed worthless flesh) is that I have no appetite. I go all day and forget to eat until my blood sugar drops and I get the shakes. My metabolism is compromised, but on the other hand, it feels good to not be comforted by food so much. Next step: eat like a regular person.

They say admitting you have a problem is the first step. I have that one down. So what the hell is the second step?!

Ah who cares. I'm off to make Blue Sleepy's wonderful Salsa Chicken for dinner!

posted by Terri at 11/09/2007 04:50:00 PM >6 comments

6 Comments:

<$BlogCommentAuthor$> said...: <$BlogCommentBody$>; <$BlogCommentDateTime$> <$BlogCommentDeleteIcon$>