::Serendipity::

My Poor Friend... ________________________________________________________________

Michael took the rest of the week off ( I KNOW!) so we spent today at the lake. No drama from his sister and family, and his parents said they were coming out, but never showed. It was so quiet and nice. And then the rain came down... We could see the gray rolling in and the kids wanted one more swim before it stormed. Michael told the kids how he used to love to swim in the rain, so they decided to stay out for a while. He even went out with everyone and they all played. Then he came in and the lightening flashed. The wind started to blow. Then the thunder cracked and the boom lasted for about 20 seconds and Tim, Emily and Maggie all started crying! It must have been pretty intense being out there hearing that kind of loud thunder! It started to rain just a tiny bit and by the time everyone got back to the cabin, it was coming down in buckets! I have pictures I hope to share very soon!

I feel really badly for my friend, Mrs. Garden Gnome. She's been trying to get pregnant again for just over half a year. She had 5 children too, and she's 6 years younger then I am I think. Her children are all about 2 years apart and she doesn't know what to do with herself being not pregnant. She made her husband get tested. He's fine. She's been using progesterone cream for the past few months. Lately she's taken to telling me she's pregnant almost every month. She considers herself pregnant if she's late. She doesn't take a pregnancy test or anything, but the day she's late she tells me and her husband she's expecting. Today I get an e-mail that she "lost the baby". She's almost two weeks late. Is it really a miscarriage if she's late? This is the third time this has happened and I've tried to comfort her, but it's really becoming difficult and awkward and I don't know how to make her feel better. I don't know what she needs and she can't really tell me.

I've had two miscarriages, and I know it's horrible. The first one was very traumatic. I had a blighted ovum at almost 5 months my first pregnancy. I started spotting. My regular doctor was unavailable and some A-hole OB did an ultrasound, said, "There's no baby in there. Time for a DNC." I'm flipped out. Completely lost my mind. For 5 months I thought I was going to have a baby and this jerk off had the bedside manner of a Nazi. But I recovered and got pregnant with Riley (sooner then I was supposed to!) and even though she was almost 8 weeks early, it all ended happily ever after! Before I got pregnant with Maggie, I had another miscarriage (not as traumatic, but it's always so sad and difficult) and a little bout of infertility. I took medication for a number of months and it was a rough time to say the least. The month I stopped taking the meds, I got pregnant. Funny how the body works sometimes...

So I know some of how she's feeling. I know the desperation. I know the pain. I've shared my stories with her to try and give her hope and show her that she needs to stop trying so hard and relax. I don't know how to share with her that I think she should take a test before she announces she's pregnant to see if the hormones are really there. In her mind she is, and there's no telling her she isn't. Maybe she's right, I don't know... Perception is reality and I guess. I'm just out of pretty words of comfort. I don't even know how to answer her e-mails anymore... And now I have guilt when I should be looking for ways to help her. *sigh*

posted by Terri at 7/05/2007 07:08:00 PM >5 comments

5 Comments:

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