::Serendipity::

Showers and Weddings ________________________________________________________________

I missed the bridal shower. After all I put myself through. Putting the cookbook together in such a short period of time. Finding just the right dishtowels and pink and brown ribbon to decorate the basket. Getting my little prayer for the bride together and everything! I even used the last of my lip liner. I went out to get in the van and it wouldn't stay running. It has an electrical issue common with that year and model. Michael learned if you bang the dashboard in just the right place, it starts right up. I've done it a dozen times. I could not find that sweet spot to save my life. I was in tears. Michael couldn't come get me because he was going on the air. My house was out of the way for everyone else going to the shower, or I missed them already so I couldn't catch a ride. I called the hostess and let her know and I could tell she was really disappointed. I was really disappointed in myself. When I'm sick, I don't care. I'm sick. But when a car breaks down, or I have some other issue, I always feel guilty even if it was out of my hands. When Michael got home, I called out there, and to everyone with a cell phone to see if the shower was still going on, but all I got were voicemails. I keep thinking that there must have been some reason why I had to miss it. I believe there's a reason for just about everything. There was a thundershower that night. There was a lot of road construction and accidents. Who knows?

I hate things like bridal and baby showers and get togethers with the ladies at church or Michael's office. Anything where I can't bring a security blanket, IE children or husband. I didn't used to be this introverted, but I am now. I'm just terribly uncomfortable in social situations like that, but I wanted to be there for Amie. With all my heart. But because I'm shy and uncomfortable in social situations like a bridal shower, I have let any little thing prevent me from attending as an excuse. Xander had a runny nose. I don't have any cash and I'm low on gas. Riley was at her friend's house and didn't hear me call when it was time to go. I had a headache. I do get a lot of those headaches, but you get the picture. So I have a tremendous amount of guilt. I gave my word that I would be there, and I let them down. I tried explaining to Mrs. Garden Gnome, but she didn't really seem to want to hear it. I don't blame her. But I used the last of my lip liner, darnit! If that doesn't provide proof, I don't know what would. Frankly, I'm the only one (and Mrs. Garden Gnome) who seems to care. The hostess and Amie had much bigger things to be concerned with.

I went by Amie's work the day after the shower, but she had taken time off until after her honeymoon. I got her cell number from her mom, but the reception was bad. So I wrote her a letter and told her that I was sorry and that I'm shy, but I got over it because I had really wanted to be there for her shower and I wrote out the prayer I was going to say. I put it in the gift basket. I probably could have tried harder to contact her, but I figured she had enough to do just days before her wedding!

So I've been embroidering my heart out! I've been up until 2 or 3 in the morning. I brought it with me to the doctor's office. I stitched in waiting rooms. I stitched at Barnes and Noble during the kids book group meeting. I stitched in the car waiting for Michael when we met for lunch. And still... I finished them 10 minutes before we had to leave for the wedding. I didn't even get to wash them first! I literally threw on my dress, shoes, and was glad for the first time ever that I didn't take my make off from the previous day because it took less time to get ready! I really wish I had come up with that bright idea for a gift just a few days sooner. But I did it. Whew! I kind of miss it... It's been nice to just sit and stitch for hours on end. My hands feel empty.

The wedding was beautiful. I cried, of course. I always do. I suppose it's kind of odd in this day and age, but it was enlightening to attend the wedding of people who aren't living together, have a baby already or have already had relations. This couple was as pure as the driven snow. What a blessing that must be. All those firsts they get to look forward to. The first time going "home" together and learning the other's likes and dislikes. Who sleeps on which side of the bed. And all the other new interesting things they'll get to discover about one another. What a night tonight will be for them!

Michael and I were not pure as the driven snow. It's been fifteen years, but I remember not wanting to brush my teeth in front of Michael when we were first married. Now the bathroom is the only place we can have a private conversation!

posted by Terri at 6/09/2007 04:58:00 PM >3 comments

3 Comments:

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