::Serendipity::

The Ding Dong Ditch Song ________________________________________________________________

I ate McD's for the first time in months and months yesterday. It tasted gnarly. Yes. I said gnarly. I don't think I've used that word since 1987, but no other word would do. Timmy had his heart set on McD's and in the spirit of making our one on one time special, I agreed. I was starving, literally after skipping lunch and it was almost dinner time. I wanted to order a lovely salad, but didn't see one on the menu, so I ordered a big ugly burger instead of going the extra mile and asking about them anyway. I took it as kismet because I really wanted the burger. It must have been long enough that the addictive chemical they put in their food was completely out of my system, because the meat made me want to scrap off my tongue. I can't put my finger on what the flavor was. Must have been the addictive chemical. And my Dr. Pepper fell out of my cup holder and spilled all over. I think someone was trying to tell me something by this experience. So I've learned a valuable lesson. When I'm starving, and fast food is the only option, go to Carl's Jr.

The doorbell rang at 8AM. Emily and Timmy ran to the door thinking it was their buddy from next door. Apparently they made plans last night to meet first thing in the morning because I was mean and cruel and made them come inside at 9PM. Whom ever it was (their buddy) ran away before they answered the door. Timmy came back singing "ding dong ditch ding dong witch ding dong bitch ding dong stitch". I told him to hold up a minute because he just said a bad word. He said he didn't. I informed my little man that the word he said that started with a "b" is in fact, a bad word. He said it wasn't. It just rhymed with ditch. I agreed that it definitely did rhyme with ditch and his rhyming skills were bar none, but the word with the "b" is still a bad word and he would get in trouble the next time he said it. He became very contrite and was sorry because he didn't know. Then he asked what the "b" word was and what it meant. I told him to put his cereal bowl in the kitchen. And he continued singing a modified version of his Ding Dong Ditch song.

Somewhere along the way, Xander has decided that his body is a canvas. He loves to write and manages to find pencils or pens just about everywhere. Yes, I've babyproofed the house. Yes, I do a thorough walk through diligently. He still finds them, not that I don't keep trying. The other day, he found a brown Sharpie. Then he found a lovely exposed leg and proceeded to doodle all over it. Then he found another exposed leg and gave that one a few doodles to make it even. Wait! What's this? An arm! Fabulous place to draw with a brown Sharpie! That's when Riley and I catch him. Covered in brown wiggly lines. A baby wipe used to take that off. They must have changed the formula in the last 10 years since that last happened, because he's still sporting faded brown squiggles. At least he didn't give himself a mustache.

He also managed to find the little tin of dark chocolate covered Altoids I put in Michael's stocking last Christmas. I don't know where they were, but he found them. And ate them. All. I was in the kitchen cooking dinner and he came up to the baby gate drooling chocolate. When Michael got home, I told him what happened. Then he said the tin was practically full. I thought about calling poison control, but I don't think you can O.D. on mint. Although I don't know. If I ate practically an entire tin of Altoids, I'd want an ambulance. Those things are too much for me. But Xander didn't seem to mind them in the least. And he had nice minty breath for the rest of the night.

posted by Terri at 6/01/2007 08:47:00 AM >2 comments

2 Comments:

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